Coaching language is a niche language, created by development enthusiasts and not always understood by our clients. What can be done to avoid airtight wording?
We coaches often don’t notice how we start speaking coaching newspeak and become understandable only to our environment. More than once I’ve heard and (horror of horrors!) caught myself spouting “profundities,” i.e. meaningless, pseudo-philosophical and developmental generalities.
I encourage everyone to look for a way to talk about coaching that:
– Will be understood by managers,
– will help HR sell the coaching service and our competencies in their organizations,
– will allow coaches to remain consistent with their knowledge and method.
Here are some tips on how not to use airtight wording when working with clients.
1. let the recipient understand what is going to happen
Based on specifics, take care to describe the activities and the coaching process. Tell what will happen, what the sessions will look like, in what situations what behaviors the client can expect from you and what not. Make him aware of what will happen during your meetings. Starting with behaviors and actions allows you to try on the process and see if it “fits” the way the recipient thinks about himself and his work.
2. use design language wording
Stages, milestones, measures, critical points – these are terms that business people understand. By using this language, we cede control to the interlocutor. On safe ground, it becomes an equal partner rather than a “development supplicant.” A coaching or mentoring process is a project subject to all the usual factors: it has stakeholders, goals and outcomes. Like any, it requires clear and transparent rules, sticking to the arrangements, and frequent renegotiation.
3. talk about developmental and psychological phenomena, using common terms
Example? “Confidentiality is that I don’t talk to my boss about you during the program even if he asks me to.” Refer to a set of good practices, e.g. send a code of ethics, talk about it with the customer. Instead of using the word “resilience,” say that you will talk about how to deal with difficult situations. Replace the term “psychological safety” with “looking for behaviors that will not alienate co-workers and increase their willingness to share problems.” And most important: ask, ask, ask. If something is unclear, clarify doubts and use customer language as often as possible. We can safely assume that we live in a communication bubble, and the way we express ourselves is simply unclear to many.
