Two trends are often at war with each other in conversations about differences, including those related to gender.
The first one says that we are no different and should treat each other the same. The other is that we are completely different, which means that we are either inferior or that we should be given special treatment because of our difference. Ah, it’s not that simple!
It is true that women’s and men’s development are talked about and supported differently, and – as usual – there is no single instruction.
Paraphrasing the title from one of the movies, I’ll start with the question: what do women expect when talking to their bosses? I will leave aside here, of course, questions of elementary business culture, which has clearly defined rules and boundaries. However, there are nuances, sometimes inconspicuous, sometimes well-intentioned, that are misperceived by women.
Here are three of them:
1. do not emphasize that you are talking to a woman.
Pay attention to your micro-behavior. This could be a look, a compliment, a dress comment, a reference to a life role or a well-intentioned question about family issues. Treat women substantively, putting them in the role of employee, not partner, mother, caregiver or attractive person.
2 Ask or pay attention to the way they want you to address them and follow through.
If a woman does not attach importance to the use of feminatives, you do not need to use them, but if it is an important issue for her – respect her (regardless of what you think about it).
3. overcome the stereotype in yourself that women are more emotional.
First of all, using such an argument when showing nervousness or joy will lead to a rightful escalation. If emotions have arisen, let them resound, notice them, and not deny or judge them.
Second, the claim that women are more emotional is a false generalization. We just have different patterns of showing emotions, and those associated with suppression – specific to men – have become more socially acceptable.
In these three elements of “savoir vivre” of business conversation, the main thing is to do no harm, that is, not to put obstacles in the way of women’s communication. Then there is a chance to sound out a substantive message to discover the best solution in a partnership discussion.
